


you good?

by visceraboy



Category: Half-Life, freeman's mind
Genre: Multi, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Weed Usage, freemind is trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:36:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29576922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visceraboy/pseuds/visceraboy
Summary: major tw for discussion of past sexual abuse carried out by a parenteddie and gordon talking about their parents
Relationships: Eddie/Gordon Freeman
Kudos: 17





	you good?

Eddie exhaled a cloud of smoke as he laid next to Freemind. His twin mattress wasn't exactly comfortable for the two men to share, but they were used to it.

Something felt off about Freemind today, as solidified by the fact he shrank away from Eddie's touch as he picked at his wrist.

"Gordon." Eddie starts. He scrunches his face as Freemind flinches, looking at Eddie. "Shit, what's up with you today, man?? You're acting real fucked up."

"I am not!" Freemind retorted, sitting up. "What are you talking about? Can't a guy just think in his own home?! God!"

Eddie stayed still, watching Freemind.

"What are you thinking about?" Eddie asked, then put his blunt back to his mouth. 

"Why do you wanna know?" Freemind looked away, still picking at his wrist.

"Because you obviously need to talk about it." Eddie exhaled more smoke, then placed a hand on the small of Freemind's back. "... C'mon, Gor. Talk to me."

Freemind relaxed, but still didn't face Eddie, or lay back down.

"I was just… thinking about my dad." he brought his knees to his chest. "Realizing shit."

"Realizing what?"

Eddie couldn't see Freemind's face.

"He doesn't love me." his voice cracked under the weight of that sentence. "He never did."

"... What?" Eddie furrowed his brows, frowning. "Why do you think that, Gor? He's… he's your dad, why wouldn't he love you?"

Freemind tensed up, laughing humorlessly. 

"Because I'm a freak." he said bitterly. "He wanted me to be a good little girl, not… not whatever the fuck I am." 

"What?" Eddie sat up. "Dude, why would he want you to be a girl?"

Freemind turned, staring at Eddie incredulously. His face was damp.

"... Eddie."

"Gordon." 

Freemind couldn't hold back a giggle.

"Dude. I… Eddie…???"

"What?" 

"I'm transgender. You know that, right?"

Eddie's eyes widened. 

"Eddie… you knew that, right?" 

"... No." 

Freemind stares, then guffaws.

"Eddie, you- you've seen me naked! You've stuck your dick in me!" 

"I just thought you had a pussy because you wanted one." Eddie looks away.

"EDDIE." 

"I mean, I'd want a pussy too if it was as bomb as yours."

"Eddie…" Freemind giggled and looked away. "You're so fucking stupid."

Eddie leaned over, pressing a kiss to Freemind's cheek. He held Freemind's hand, rubbing a circle into his hand as he rested his chin on Freemind's head.

"I think you make an awesome guy." he rubbed over the various scars on Mind's hands, looking intently. "I don't know what's wrong with him, just let people be. I'd be stoked if it turned out I had a son." 

Freemind smiled as he leaned into Eddie's touch.

"Of course I'm an awesome guy." he said, a cocky edge to his grin. "But it's, like… Going from being his "favorite" to being hated… That shit hurts." he clutched onto Eddie. "Especially after everything he did, it just feels like… "Okay, I'm done with you, fuck off"."

"Everything he did?" 

Mind curled in on himself.

Now, Eddie wasn't exactly smart, but he knows when someone is uncomfortable, so he just leans in, holding Freemind close to his chest, and tried to think of a different topic. But Freemind speaks first.

"He wanted me to be a good girl for him." His eye is shut. He's not looking at Eddie. "Eddie..."

Eddie didn't want to put two and two together, but it barged into his mind like a bullet piercing skin.

"Did he… touch you?" the words feel filthy coming from his lips. 

A shaky exhale and choked sob confirms Eddie's fears.

"... Oh, Gordon..." he holds Mind to him. Protective. 

Mind shakes, tears staining his cheeks as he laughs bitterly. 

"He did a bit more than touch." he sounded sickly happy. misery twisted into euphoria. Eddie's heard that voice before, and knew it meant nothing good.

"Gordon, do you wanna watch Star Wars?"

Mind paused, his rage momentarily halted by shocked confusion. He looked at Eddie.

"... Sure?" he furrowed his brows. "Why?"

"You need a distraction." Eddie stood and went to dig through Mind's collection of bootleg and burned DVDs. "If you get like this, you're just gonna stew in how mad you are and just feel worse."

"Am not."

Eddie turned, giving Mind a knowing look. 

"... Alright, fine. Yeah. Maybe." Mind grumbled. "But I deserve to be mad."

"Yeah." Eddie nodded as he turned back to the DVDs. He sighed with frustration at the fact Freemind had no organization system. "But you need to actually, like, process your anger in a way that's good for you."

"What?"

Eddie shrugs. "It just kinda seems like when you get angry like that it does more bad than good for you.'' His face lights up as he finds a DVD that has "STAR WARZ (eddie nerd shit)" written on it in thick sharpie. "Plus, I've been talking to a therapist and stuff lately-"

"YOU go to therapy?"

Eddie nods. Mind cocks a brow.

"Why?"

Eddie puts the DVD in.

"I realized my parents were shitty." he sounds… empty. "And that I have some… trauma issues."

Eddie stands, grabbing the DVD remote, and lays next to Mind. He opens his arms, offering.

"I'd get so pissed I blacked out. He's shown me some coping methods, and I'm going on mood stabilizers soon." Mind laid against his chest, nodding as he watches the TV. "I know you don't black out, but it still makes me think of that."

Mind nods.

"Plus, I really wanna stop doing all this shit." his voice is laced with sadness. "I wanna have a family, y'know?"

"You wanna have a family?"

Eddie nods.

Mind thinks to himself as he lays on Eddie. 

A family...


End file.
